“No…no…no, now wait a minute. The answer is no. NO! Doggone it! I won’t work for you at any price. You sit around here and spin your little web and think the whole world revolves around you and your money. Well, it doesn’t, Mr. Potter! In the…in the whole vast configuration of things, I’d say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider. You…”

**Photo and Dialogue from the classic movie IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE

Part 2
Building relationships with people who really matter to you...

Do I want to be right or happy? In most conflicts, the issue of who is objectively right is irrelevant. Modifying behaviors to improve a relationship that matters to you isn’t giving in or being passive; it’s empathetic and smart. That said, if the change required makes you feel like you are compromising your integrity or your sense of who you are, don’t do it. That brings us to question Number Four.

If you changed your behavior, would it impact the relationship? The premise of behavior modification is that when you give a little, the other person is likely to reciprocate. There are, however, times when it really doesn’t matter what you do because the other person doesn’t want the relationship to improve. Holding on to anger can be empowering, and to some people, that feeling is better than remorse and more comfortable than change.

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